Hyperbole Quotes

“I'm the very infant that refused his milk before its eyes were open, and called out for a bottle of old rye!”

“If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.”

“I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.”

“I can out-run, out-jump, out-shoot, out-brag, out-drink, and out-fight, rough and tumble, no holds barred, any man on both sides of the river from Pittsburgh to New Orleans and back again to St. Louis.”

“This is going to be the most expensive rock that has ever been forged. It will be a diamond of ten thousand carats, every carat representing a sin.”

“He had a granite chin. He could take a punch. I mean, he could take a punch from a mule.”

“I never saw a man yet who was not improved by being thrashed.”

“I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”

“The saloon is the sum of all villainies. It is worse than slavery.”

“Any ballplayer that don't sign autographs for little kids ain't an American. He's a communist.”

“The problem with the press is that they can't tell the difference between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.”

“I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.”

“I'm making a pizza the size of the sun, a pizza that's sure to weigh more than a ton.”

“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.”

“We're going to bomb them back into the Stone Age.”

“My stomach's like a garbage pail, I'll eat whatever's there.”

“Sir, I would give up half, nay the whole of the constitution, to preserve the remainder!”

“This is so nice, it must be illegal.”

“What's new, Normie? Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer.”

“They'd have to kill me to get me off the field.”