“The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.”— Dave Barry
“I am the Jesus Christ of politics. I am a patient victim, I sacrifice myself for everyone.”— Silvio Berlusconi
“I can out-run, out-jump, out-shoot, out-brag, out-drink, and out-fight, rough and tumble, no holds barred, any man on both sides of the river from Pittsburgh to New Orleans and back again to St. Louis.”— Mike Fink
“I'm the very infant that refused his milk before its eyes were open, and called out for a bottle of old rye!”— Mike Fink
“I'm the man they call Sudden Death and General Desolation! Sired by a hurricane, dam'd by an earthquake, half-brother to the cholera, nearly related to the smallpox on the mother's side!”— Mike Fink
“This is going to be the most expensive rock that has ever been forged. It will be a diamond of ten thousand carats, every carat representing a sin.”— Dashiell Hammett
“He had a granite chin. He could take a punch. I mean, he could take a punch from a mule.”— Larry Merchant
“I've been to the Great Wall of China. I've seen the Pyramids of Egypt. I've even seen a grown man satisfy a camel. But I've never seen anything like this.”— Jack Buck