Cathy Guisewite

“Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.”

“When in doubt, pig out.”

“I'm not overweight. I'm undertall.”

“I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days.”

“My biological clock is ticking, and I think it's hooked up to a time bomb.”

“Four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles.”

“The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed'.”

“I have a closet full of clothes. Half of them don't fit. The other half are ugly.”

“Dear Lord, I've been asked, begged, pleaded, pushed, and shoved to get my act together. But what if I don't have an act?”

“Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. It's a simple choice between a stretchy thing and a baggy thing. Women have to choose among the tummy-control panel, the bust-enhancer, the hip-minimizer, the thigh-concealer, the butt-lifter, the back-smoother, the side-slimmer...”

“The perfect man is a man who can be a friend and a lover and a soul mate, and has a great sense of humor, and has a great body, and is very successful...and is a fictional character.”

“I am a woman of the '90s, who is trying to drag her '70s body into the 21st century.”

“Of course I'm stressed. I'm a woman.”

“I will not fall for any more fashion trends that require a thong.”

“The only thing that's been a worse flop than my love life is my investment portfolio.”