Berkeley Breathed

“The simpler the assignment, the more difficult the solution.”

“Ack!”

“It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.”

“I am a penguin. I am a flightless bird.”

“My anxieties have anxieties.”

“The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.”

“Life is a bucket of swill. And then you die.”

“I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships. But I do know that I'd rather die lonely than be with someone who doesn't appreciate my vinyl collection.”

“You're a brick, ma'am. I like that in a woman.”

“Thppt!”

“It is a sad and beautiful world.”

“Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

“The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting.”

“Close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. And think to yourself, there's no place like home.”

“I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.”

“The secret of a happy life is to find a crowd that has a lower collective IQ than you.”

“It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end.”

“Ack! Thbbft!”

“I am a C student with a PhD in celery.”

“I'm a penguin. I'm not a flight risk.”