Berkeley Breathed

“We have a right to our opinions, but not our own facts.”

“You're a brick, ma'am. I like that in a woman.”

“Life is a bucket of swill. And then you die.”

“The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting.”

“You can't get a hug from a cell phone.”

“I'm a penguin. I'm not a flight risk.”

“It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end.”

“I am a penguin. I am a flightless bird.”

“Ack! Thbbft!”

“I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships. But I do know that I'd rather die lonely than be with someone who doesn't appreciate my vinyl collection.”

“I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.”

“Ack!”

“It is a sad and beautiful world.”

“The simpler the assignment, the more difficult the solution.”

“Close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. And think to yourself, there's no place like home.”

“It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.”

“My anxieties have anxieties.”

“The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.”

“Thppt!”

“Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”