“Nearly every glamorous, wealthy, successful man has been married to a woman who has been cheated on.”— Helen Gurley Brown
“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”— Rodney Dangerfield
“With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter got a tip.”— Rodney Dangerfield
“My wife, coming up suddenly, did find me embracing the girl... I was at a wonderful loss upon it, and the girl also.”— Samuel Pepys
“What a kid I got. I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”— Rodney Dangerfield
“The bonds of wedlock are so heavy that it takes two to carry them, sometimes three.”— Marya Mannes
“People are not unfaithful because they are oversexed, but because they are underloved.”— Frank Pittman
“No man worth having is true to his wife, or can be true to his wife, or ever was, or ever will be so.”— John Vanbrugh