Tim Sample

“You can't get there from here.”

“In Maine, we don't hide our crazy. We parade it on the front porch and give it a cocktail.”

“Some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.”

“The secret to a happy marriage is a husband and wife who can laugh together. And at each other.”

“Ayuh.”

“It's harder than trying to push a wet noodle up a porcupine's back end with a fork.”

“He was so tight he'd squeeze a quarter 'til the eagle screamed.”

“Don't matter how flat you make a pancake, it's still got two sides.”

“If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes.”

“Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.”

“That's about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.”

“Wicked good.”