Roseanne Barr

“I was a weirdo. I wasn't picked for anything. I was a cheerleader for a while, but I was on the C team.”

“I'm not going to be a perfect person. I'm not going to be a perfect mother.”

“The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.”

“I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.”

“As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.”

“Women are cursed, and men are the proof.”

“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.”

“I enjoy being a highly overpaid actress.”

“People are starting to get tired of paying experts to tell them what they already know.”

“I'm a goddamn marvel of modern science.”

“The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.”

“Women are not going to be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.”

“As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.”

“You can't be a victim and a victor at the same time.”

“The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.”

“I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Goddamit, I'm a billionaire.”

“Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.”

“My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war.”

“I'm not a role model. I'm a cautionary tale.”

“I'm a feminist, not a masochist.”