Roseanne Barr

“People are starting to get tired of paying experts to tell them what they already know.”

“I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.”

“Women are not going to be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.”

“I was a weirdo. I wasn't picked for anything. I was a cheerleader for a while, but I was on the C team.”

“I'm a goddamn marvel of modern science.”

“I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.”

“The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.”

“The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.”

“I'm not a role model. I'm a cautionary tale.”

“I'm not going to be a perfect person. I'm not going to be a perfect mother.”

“Women are cursed, and men are the proof.”

“You can't be a victim and a victor at the same time.”

“I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Goddamit, I'm a billionaire.”

“As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.”

“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.”

“The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.”

“As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.”

“My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war.”

“I enjoy being a highly overpaid actress.”

“Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.”