Art Buchwald

“Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.”

“Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.”

“The best things in life aren't things.”

“If you attack the establishment, they don't bother you. If you attack the people, they kill you.”

“Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.”

“As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.”

“A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge.”

“Without freedom of speech, there is no modern world, just a barbaric one.”

“Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.”

“I worship the quicksand he walks on.”

“The problem with a trial by jury is that the jurors are not your peers. They are 12 people who were not smart enough to get out of jury duty.”

“I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.”

“Satire is a weapon. And you need a target.”

“You can't learn anything from a person who knows everything.”

“People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there's something wrong with him.”