Dick Gregory

“Segregation is not humiliating. It's something else. It's a waste of time.”

“Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.”

“I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.”

“Humor is just another defense against the universe.”

“One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.”

“The last time I was in the South I walked into a restaurant, and this waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' I said: 'That's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.'”

“Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.”

“Because I'm a civil rights activist, I'm also an animal rights activist. Animals and humans suffer and die alike.”

“The only good thing about the good old days is they're gone.”

“I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr. stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.”

“Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.”

“Poor is a state of mind. Broke is a temporary condition.”

“I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn't have what I wanted.”

“I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were going to a friendly country.”

“When you've got a mother and a father who fought through the Depression and World War II, you do not panic.”

“If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance, because you don't have the spirit to judge them by their heart, then you're the one who's blind.”