Berkeley Breathed

“I'll be in the hottub. No, wait. I'll be in the tub of gin.”

“Liberalism is a philosophy of consoling the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable.”

“I am a C student with a PhD in celery.”

“My secret is that I have never thought of myself as a cartoonist. I've always thought of myself as a writer who happens to draw.”

“I'm desperately trying to find a salad that tastes like a cheeseburger.”

“There's an old saying: 'That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' I don't believe it. What doesn't kill you, kills you.”

“The secret of a happy life is to find a crowd that has a lower collective IQ than you.”

“The best things in life are silly.”

“I'm weary of the battle. If I'm going to be a puppet, I'd rather be a puppet on a string than a puppet on a stick.”