William Schwenck Gilbert

“Of that there is no manner of doubt—no probable, possible shadow of doubt—no possible doubt whatever.”

“A policeman's lot is not a happy one.”

“I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.”

“He led his regiment from behind—he found it less exciting.”

“When a felon's not engaged in his employment, or maturing his felonious little plans, his capacity for innocent enjoyment is just as great as any honest man's.”

“Let the punishment fit the crime.”

“I am the very model of a modern Major-General.”

“What, never? No, never! What, never? Well, hardly ever!”

“No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast.”

“A wandering minstrel I, a thing of shreds and patches.”

“It's love that makes the world go round.”

“Things are seldom what they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream.”

“Life is a joke that's just begun!”

“He is an Englishman!”

“Man is Nature's sole mistake.”

“I've got a little list.”