Brendan Behan

“I'm a drinker with writing problems.”

“New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.”

“Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.”

“One drink is too many for me and a thousand are not enough.”

“I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.”

“There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.”

“The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.”

“Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.”

“It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.”

“I was court-martialed in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.”

“I only drink on two occasions—when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.”

“The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.”

“At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one's lost self.”

“Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.”

“I am a daylight atheist.”

“An Anglo-Irishman is a Protestant with a horse.”