Woody Allen

“To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.”

“Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.”

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”

“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.”

“Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.”

“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”

“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”

“If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.”

“The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.”