Mark Twain

“Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”

“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”

“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.”

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”